Yesterday I woke up, I have everything to be blessed about but still wondering in a precious Heavenly son who had everything to live for. He left this world with so much pain from others hurting him. Gang members caused his hurt of body and mind. In the past. 21 years ago, he left with loving everyone the night before happy with getting love for someone back. Telling me he loved me before I left his friends home. Then one bottle of wine and a sawed off shot gun took my son’s life. They said suicide. Unanswered questions have left me breathless of why. One quick bullet. Why! I woke up at two in the morning with this song in my mind. Helped me to tell Bobby I love him and happy Heavenly Birthday and started to say May God bless you with many more and I said; Wait! You are right there with him and you don’t have no more hurt or worries. I woke up with the song of Fortunately, this is usually a benign finding. Causes of Feeling With Your Heart in Your Chest. Ryan Stevenson ~ With Lifted Hands (Lyrics) ft. Martin Smith Remember, that’s where this organ is located. “Forceful beating of the heart and/or increased heart rates leading to palpitations may be caused by anxiety, stress, panic attack or fear. I continued to clean the house and mess up my photos I started looking at. Made Walt’s breakfast etc. My son Josh came over. We spent some time.
Randy asked me the night before if I would be next door at 10 or 11 am, I said sure. I went next door and saw Whizzy knelling on the ground, with her hands, she was pulling weeds with her garden utensils. My heart wanted to get down on the ground and do it with her cause my soul was feeling the loss of my son not being here on his birthday. So I continued to the house and went in and started sweeping up the dead bugs from when I sprayed. Then I vacuumed the rooms and swept up the closets and bathroom etc.
So, Randy called and said that he was waiting for a man to come see the house at 12:45 or 1pm. So I went outside to talk with Whizzy , told her about a easier way to get the weeds. All and all I was thinking of her husband who recently passed, God was showing me that my soul {Father thank you for showing me that Your all I need} My soul was reaching out, I didn’t even realize it. This woman didn’t know my heart, but God does. He was with me through my confusion and yelling from inside me. I needed to surrender and let go again. My soul yesterday was out of the body, but was put back in its place.
Before that my son Josh and husband Walter went to what-a-burger got lunch, so I went back to the house to eat. Each time I went by Whizzy. She had done a terrific job getting those weeds on the side of the driveway. She didn’t even know she helped my soul to get back in order. When that man showed up I put my mind to what was happening cause I was back on track.
But, When I was asked for something I had sent to Randy that I was to give him. They gave me a ride and we went in the house, I looked at the mess of photos, my mind went blank. My mind got lost back on my son Bobby. Well, they let me know they would get it later. I went back to thinking of Whizzy and got her some flowering bulbs. She is an amazing woman and God put her in my path to realize her pain is still in that great person. I started thinking of the song from Zack Williams, No Longer Slaves. I am always thinking or waking up to Christian Songs. I love music. God has Bobby and he is safe. It is just the thought of missing him that always creeps in my soul when I least expect it or when I expect it. I thank God for all those who sends in my path each day and that He will never let me fall into stress. The mind can heal the body, but the body can’t heal the mind because God gave us His powerful mind and when our mind doesn’t think right. God is right here guiding it. Amen!
“God, even our own God, will bless us. And peoples from remotest lands will worship Him. Psalms 67:7 is what I picked yesterday.”
This is the chapter Psalm 67:
May God be gracious to us and bless us and make his face shine on us— so that your ways may be known on earth, your salvation among all nations. May the peoples praise you, God; may all the peoples praise you. May the nations be glad and sing for joy, for you rule the peoples with equity and guide the nations of the earth. May the peoples praise you, God; may all the peoples praise you. The land yields its harvest; God, our God, blesses us. May God bless us still, so that all the ends of the earth will fear him.
"Only Life Changes" 